35yoSeeking... a bat-free life

Word Count: 386

I’ve been dealing with some unwelcome house guests this summer. That’s right—‘guests’ (plural), as in more than one. Who are these guests exactly? Bats. Yep.

Did you know that bats are a protected species in Missouri?! I learned that this summer. (I’m learning a lot about bats this summer—all of which I never wanted to know.) According to the Missouri Department of Conservation, there are sixteen total species of bats found in Missouri, nine of which are species of conservation concern, and three of which are state endangered. Apparently, bats have babies in May and June before the colony starts to break up in July when the pups begin to leave the roost. I suppose this means I have a bat colony in my attic?! That’s…terrifying.

I own a condominium, which I always joke is like half-home-ownership. Perhaps you’ve heard of the “studs in” rule—as the owner, I’m responsible for everything inside the studs, and the condo management company is responsible for everything outside of that. It’s a great deal for the management company because by the time the bat physically works its way into my unit (typically through my air register or return vents)—it’s my problem! Suffice it to say, eight years and three bats in, I’m on a first-name basis with the local Animal Control. (They are fantastic, by the way, and always follow up to let me know that my unwanted houseguest did not have rabies. Phew.)

I’m also getting to be on pretty good terms with the condo management company’s handyman and pest control company, who will gladly come to investigate once I’ve handled the live bat situation. They seem to find another hole or crack in the roof, attic, or ductwork every time—imagine that?! The pest control company actually wrote in an email to me, “Unfortunately, you are their chosen one…” At least all of our senses of humor remain intact! Now that it’s finally August and the bat colony party is nearly over, they can come back to find and seal up more cracks. (Fingers crossed I can get the condo management company to spring for ductwork cleaning.) In the meantime, I’ll get back to my weekend project of installing mesh screens and traps behind my air returns and registers. Ah, the joys of half-home-ownership…!